what’s in a name? pt 1

Imagine a multi-layered burst of bright red at the end of a stem of green. What is this?

Ceci n’est pas une rose.

C’est William. With a name like that, he had it easy. Will. Bill. Billy. Willy—someone must have. Will.I.Am—he thought of this first, no doubt.

If people see my name, they can’t say it. If they hear it, they can’t spell it. I’ve spent my life correcting them. In the same way James Dean’s Jim from Rebel without a Cause couldn’t let it go when someone called him chicken, I let these mispronunciations & misspellings get to me.

In my family, I was known by my relative labels: sister, daughter, or by generic terms of endearment: sweetheart, dear. The family as a unified entity with a single direction, one voice, was favored over being an individual. My DNA didn’t get the memo.

I want to be separate. I want to have an identity. I want people to get my name right.

A salesman once told me there’s no way, with that spelling, that’s how you say it. Dude, did you seen The 40-Year-Old Virgin? Not because I think you’d relate, but because of this exchange:

While we were in Paris a couple of weeks ago, we bought new iPhones. Went from 2009’s iPhone 4 to the new iPhone 6—(not the 6ridicuplus). This is my first experience with Siri.

A few weeks before we moved to Dubai, my computer died. I took Alfredo’s old one, which got connected to all my devices—iphones, ipods, etc, meaning in the digital world, I was Alfredo.

  • Siri: What can I help you with, Alfredo?
    Me: I’m not Alfredo.
    Siri: I’m sorry. I do not understand, I’m not Alfredo.
    Me: My name’s not Alfredo.
    Siri: I’m sorry. I do not understand, My name’s not Alfredo.
    [Google: Siri calls me by the wrong name]
    Me: Call me Dina. [Siri spells this as Dena. Click to change. I change.]
    Siri: Ok, I shall call you Tina. Is this correct?
    [Google: Siri difficult name to pronounce]
    Me: Siri, how do you pronounce Dina? [Siri spells this as Dena. Click to change. I change.]
    Siri: Which one? [Siri gives me a list of all my contacts named Dana.]
    Me: Call me Dina. [Siri spells this as Dena. Click to change. I change.]
    Siri: Ok, I shall call you Gina. Is this correct?
    Me: [redacted]
    Me: Siri, how do you pronounce Dina? [Siri spells this as Dena. Click to change. I change.]
    Siri: You have no contacts named Dinah.
    Me: Call me Dina. [Siri spells this as Dena. Click to change. I change.]
    Siri: Ok, I shall call you Dianna. Is this correct?
    Me: Dina.
    Siri: I’m sorry, I do not understand, Denna.
    Me: [redacted] [redacted]
    Me: Siri, how do you pronounce Dina? [Siri spells this as Dina.]
    Siri: Which one? [Siri gives contact info for a few Danas and for me. I click on my name.]
    Siri: Ok, how do you pronouce this name?
    Me: Dina.
    Siri: Select one. [Siri provides 3 sound files. I listen. Dina. Dana. Dina. I chose the first one.]
    Me: Siri, what is my name?
    Siri: Why are you asking me, Din-nah?

Like:
Can you hear me above the din?
Nah.
Would you like some gin?
Nah.
Is that made of tin?
Nah.

  • Me: Siri, I give up.
    Siri: I do not understand, I give up.
    Me: Ok, Siri. What’s in a name?
    Siri: Here’s some information. Input interpretation: A name means nothing.
    Me: Thank you, Siri.
    Siri: You’re most certainly welcome.
close up to center of flower
This is a rose.
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3 thoughts on “what’s in a name? pt 1

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